It is important that you find the strength to keep going, as someone needs you to be strong. Though you likely have not met that person yet... but, in the not-too-far-off future, your story, your strength, your resolve to fight through the pain and to do what is necessary to heal through the grief, will be just the lifeline someone will need to know that they too can continue, since you showed them that it is possible to make it through the darkness and into the healing light of God's love. He will give you the strength right now if you reach out to Him. Isa. 145:18 & Psa 25:1 are good places to start. Then risk believing that He too knew what it was like too be used, abused, betrayed, and left to die. He knows, and He wants to heal those deep places within you, so that someday you also can extend that same help and hope to another survivor who is almost ready to let go, and slip underneath the waves (2 Cor. 1:4-5). For that person who will need your encouragement someday soon, or maybe even sooner than that, you need to be strong, for they need you to be strong for them. And, the good people on this site are extending their strength, hope, and support to you right now. Reach out and take it, so that you can be there for the person who will soon need your strength and encouragement.