In the following, Survivor Support's Founder, Jon K. Uhler, MS, LPC, responds to questions that are pertinent to Survivors.
If you are interested in his answers to questions concerning sociopaths and psychopaths, click on the following Icon
Q: How can you tell if you are at a place where you need some help in dealing with selfish people?
A: Since most of the stress we deal with in life has to do with our interactions with people. So, if you find yourself burned out or stressed more times than not, then it will likely benefit you to find someone knowledgable to review your approach to relationships and people.
Fortunately, such help is available right here. To schedule an appointment, simply click here.
To determine whether you need help, we have provided a self-assessment.
Q: What are some warning signs that I am dealing with a wolf?
A: a few of the "tell tail" signs of the methods used by wolves to silence their opposition, in order to continue feeding with the sheep.
As a part of Church Protect trainings, we help profile some of the characteristics of a wolf. Here are a few of the "tell tail" signs of a wolf in sheep's clothing.
Beware of those who have demonstrated a propensity towards:
(1) turning any discussion into an opportunity to personally attack someone who may disagree with their point of view;
(2) easily and adeptly making unfounded accusations against anyone raising reasonable, objective, and fact-based questions and opinions;
(3) making slanderous and defamatory accusations against the other person's motives and character, as a means of distracting against the facts and ideas being presented; and
(4) quickly "flipping the script" (taking the focus of the facts, and turning the focus on the person who dares to raise any information that might begin to cause people to begin to slow down and ask hard questions), and
(5) using "selective moral outrage" as a means of advancing their agenda without opposition.
In other words, wolves are masters at redirecting the focus off the facts and issues being raised, asserting that they are the true victims... and painting the person who dared to open their mouth in the first place as the real wolf!
The Final Phase of the Wolf's strategic campaign against his/her opponent (anyone who dares to speak the truth) is characterized
by them getting the upper hand by their ability to "turn the tables"
on the person via a virtual onslaught of character assassination.
Once the wolf is able to sufficient call into question the motives of their opponent, he/she is able to close in to permanently silence
Depending upon the wolf's degree of psychopathy,
sophistication, and skill set, he/she will finally turn
all their energies toward launching a "no holds
barred" scorched-earth campaign against the
person who dared raise questions. The wolf
works with incredible speed and agility in stirring
up opinion against the detractor, shifting the focus
from facts to personal attacks. With a seemingly endless
amount of time and energy, they are able to plan and execute their assertions and accusations (designed to discredit and silence any future person who dares to objectively highlight raise reasonable questions) to such an extent that the narrative has been rewritten, from them as the potential wolf to them as the hero/heroine.
Without good people to rally around the "detractor," the end of the story is unfortunately all too predictable. The onslaught against the "detractor" will simply never end until they have made the person pay for having stood up against them. And, that usually means being permanently silenced if the wolf has any say in the matter.